I love words. Spoken, sung, and written. I love to pull them apart. Find out where they came from. Ponder if their origins offer more depth of meaning than what is offered in their linear collection of letters. As I’ve been pondering belonging, it only recently dawned on me that the word be-longing itself tells a story.

There is an evolutionary one, where our sense of belonging is a biological trigger pointing us to survival. To belong suggests having our needs met, but even then, we long for something more. A sense of absence lingers even if we are lucky enough to have our basic needs of food, shelter, and clothing met. We continue longing for feelings of security and acceptance, and certainly more so than ever in a violent and unstable world. As multi-disciplinary artist Jennifer Crighton of Hermitess shared in part one of this series, artists particularly are voracious for belonging cloaked in external validation. This inevitably alienates us from our intrinsic worth not only as artists but as human beings.

I recently sat down with country musician Robert Adam, singer Duke Domino and drag artist Jackal Morose of Arts Commons' TD Incubator program to unpack belonging –– each one an incredible artist whose search for it through their artistic practices has placed them on paths peppered with moments of external validation with big stages, adoring fans, and growing audiences. Ultimately what I was enamoured with, though, was each of their expressions of belonging to themselves. It is such a feat of bravery to belong to oneself as an artist in a world that dictates our worth through a dirty lens of viral shares and monetary value.  

Welcome to Why We Create, an ongoing collaboration and partnership with Arts Commons that endeavours to explore the creative processes of artists working in Alberta. My name is Kenna Burima, musician, songwriter, producer, educator and writer. I am also a lover and cheerleader of artists.

Arts Commons' TD Incubator program is a unique offering in Calgary that supports and nurtures artists crisscrossing artistic practices, disciplines, and genres. A diversity of artists not only partake in collaborative performance and exhibition opportunities, but are offered networking, professional development, and mentorship. In the program, artists are paid to consider how their artistic practice intersects with opportunities offered by Arts Commons through their presenting arm, Galleries (including the Micro Cinema and +15 Soundscape), and Education initiatives.

My own personal points of connection with this program are dotted through this last season, and I was continually floored not only by the artistic excellence but by how the artists were supported through the sometimes chaotic process of collaborative creation. With groups like the Major Matt Mason Collective, One Yellow Rabbit, Ghost River Theatre, and Making Treaty 7, our city knows that it takes a village to create inter/multi/disciplinary work. By offering the opportunity to work directly with seasoned professionals behind the scenes in arts administration, tech and marketing, the program paves an important way forward for our artistic community in nurturing artists to create in a world simultaneously collapsing, expanding and shrinking.

Personal Belonging

Calgary’s “Dream Angel Cowboy,” Robert Adam, is what I would easily call a gift that keeps on giving. They are limitless in their depth; a sequined-country-Queer combining traditional country and Sailor Moon aesthetics with couture fashion wrapped up in an onstage dream that is both a mesmerizing and healing experience.

“You have to belong to yourself, period,” laughs Adam. “Once we belong to ourselves, we attract the right people in the right community to continue to create that community with us. We're a part of the universe, every single one of us. So, when we belong to ourselves, we are becoming the person and the soul that was created and meant to be.”

Self-acceptance is a powerful process that speaks directly to the sense of belonging. As one who carried the heavy load of self-hatred, I know the full power that comes from setting the weight down and the gratitude for the hard-won sense of belonging that comes from it. On the other side of loathing is a compassionate gaze that allows one to see the potential of healing in others, even if they don’t see it themselves.

“The interesting thing I found is when I started to garner acceptance from even conservative folk in the country scene, was when I ironically started to look and act completely like myself,” muses Adam. “Because I think the power of loving oneself is infectious. When you make people feel something that's encouraging and inspiring, their morals and ethics about Queer people all of a sudden start to get muddled a bit, because they're like, ‘Oh, how could this person be bad? How could this person be evil when they're making me feel so good about myself, and they're inspiring so many people to find a little bit of peace and find a little bit of love?'”

Image: Robert Adam

Community Belonging

Glamour Demon and Trans Masc, Non-binary Drag Queen Jackal Morose has a similar take. Their origin story is fit for the big screen and follows the template of the epic Hero’s Journey, a narrative structure American writer Joseph Campbell unpacked 75 years ago. Through studying the stories of cultures from around the world, Campbell distilled all stories into one: the monomyth, and Morose is a hero not only of their story but a hero of all stories. Following surgery and struggling to find a physical place to call home, Morose found the stage, claimed it and put down roots. We talked about the transformative power of drag, which helped Morose reclaim their femininity and find a sense of belonging in the Queer community.

“At some point I just thought ‘Nothing is going to stop me from doing this',” says Morose. “Because I had been wanting to do Drag for a long time. I had first expressed interest in starting Drag back in 2020 but due to numerous reasons I didn’t really get the chance, so eventually I said, no more waiting. I guess this goes back to growing up the way I did. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere and now I'm comfortable in saying that I have found that place within the Queer community, within my chosen family, within the circle of my friends and fellow performers. Looking back to that kid growing up on Vancouver Island, if that lil’ guy could see where I am now, I don't think they would believe it. If I could go back in time, I would protect that lil’ guy with every fibre of my being.”

Image: Jackal Morose

Audiences as Family

Whether your family is chosen or blood, being with people who have your back gives a potent sense of feeling seen and cared for, both important aspects of belonging. Filipino Canadian singer-songwriter and musician Duke Domino is well versed in being a part of building and sharing his love of his community in Calgary. With his strong roots growing from a big musical family and his long connection to Fiesta Filipino, Alberta's largest Filipino cultural festival, Domino’s megawatt grin stretches across his face as he speaks about the people he loves.  

“In the Calgary Filipino community, we're very family-oriented,” shares Domino. “We love bringing people who may think they are not part of the community in and share our culture. ‘Join us. Eat with us. Have fun!' I try to do that with all my shows. Make everyone family.”

Image: Duke Domino

Crafting a bond between artist and audience isn’t accidental. It takes energy, intention, trust and a reclamation of who we are fully and authentically to do so. As Adam says, when we step into our truth and show up exactly as ourselves, those who witness us, have a hard time holding onto the lies they tell themselves. Artists who belong to themselves point a way forward for others to find their belonging.

“Originally, the stage was a form of reconnection and therapy for me,” admits Morose, “because I spent so much of my life hating parts of myself and disregarding them. One of those parts being my Femininity because that felt like something was so heavily imposed on me. But then as I started to experiment more with drag, I started to reclaim those parts of myself that I had initially rejected, my feminine side being a major one and so really the stage has very much been a healing space for me.”

Morose welcomed back parts of themselves that they had initially denied. This process of coming into wholeness through a process C.G. Jung coined 'shadow work' isn’t for everyone, but integrating and accepting all parts of ourselves is an adventure a lot of us will take in our lives at one point or another. For many artists we can’t help but heal and then share that experience through our work.

There is a surrender that comes with diving into a creative process and bringing forth something from within us that does not yet exist in the world. I would call it magic if it wasn’t so…ordinary. Ordinary in that every single human does it every single moment of our lives. Every breath, every blink of an eye, every movement our body makes is a moment of creation. When we bring this power to the stage, artists are given the opportunity to find and share ourselves again and again. And if we can muster the courage to share that power openly with our audiences, the sense of belonging that is naturally created is contagious. This is what belongs to artists, and this is what makes us the most powerful people on the planet. It is also why I believe there is a whole industry built around subjugating and negating that power. The system’s attempt to control artistic expression always fails and we have experienced these moments in great works of art that rally communities around the tenants of equality, love and compassion.

“Everything I do onstage comes from the heart,” says Domino. “I just open my chest, and say ‘Hey, here we are!’ Even before shows, I always go around talking to people, welcoming them. I don't think of the stage as a separation between me and my audience. I want them to feel included. I want them to feel seen. I want them to be acknowledged, so that way they know they're part of something. That’s what I want to share when I’m on stage.”

Performing artists give so much when they step on stage. It is a gift to be able to do so, but there is also a toll, a price that comes with living out loud on the stage. Therefore, it is imperative that artists take care of themselves first and foremost. Self-care isn’t just a trend, it is a crucial aspect of any artist’s artistic practice. We rest so we can create.  

“I just think you really can't pour from an empty cup,” shares Adam. “You can't draw water from an empty well. So, you can't give anything to people unless you kind of know who you are and what you're about. It took me a long time to learn that and it took me a long time to realize who I was. If you're trying to belong to other people first, there’s gonna be a shortfall that will not bear fruit, if you will. I only have a small time on this big earth. Why would I waste it being anything else but myself?”

Amen, Dream Angel Cowboy. Amen.